Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
