Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
