Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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