if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
false alarm, still single
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
