She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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