Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize