Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
