All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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