He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize