i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I have already put on my inside pants.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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