now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
