Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
