Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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