She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
