Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
