No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
