I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
