is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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