Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
