On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Randomize
