I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
