thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
