Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
