why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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