Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
