i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
3pm strippers are depressing
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
