just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
