Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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