Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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