I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
True college students do jello shots in the library
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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