All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Randomize
