She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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