i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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