Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
