As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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