is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
