Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
