TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
