that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
