Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
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