I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize
