You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I just googled if crying burns calories
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
