blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
