Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I am one with the molecules
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
