she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
