i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
