just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
