I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize