her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
