you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
