before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Found the puke drawer
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Randomize
