Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
