Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
