my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
