Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
