The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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