Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
