so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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