roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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