What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
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