my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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