I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
