dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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