I think im going to throw up on grandma
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize