no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Randomize
