Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Everclear isn't food dammit
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