Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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