Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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