Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
