Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
