just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
